The LA Weekly recently published its Best of LA issue and I was lucky enough to write three items for it. Does that make me one of LA's best writers? Probably not, but I'm gonna go ahead and say yes.
Click here, here and here to read about three of LA's bestest.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
25 Highlights of a Drive from Brooklyn to Long Beach
25 Highlights of A Drive from Brooklyn to Long Beach
1. Walking through a truck stop parking lot in Arizona, miss getting run over by an old man by less than three feet, then having him look at us, make a mean face and flipping us off.
2. Driving from New York to New Jersey, pulling over at the stateline to get gas, asking the man if he had a public bathroom and getting asked, “Do you have to pee?,” answering yes and then being told, “You can just pee in the corner over there.”
3. Having a baby cry in the seat in front of me on the plane just as I was about to fall asleep.
4. Rockin’ “The Blueprint” on the Holland Tunnel.
5. Being driven from Brooklyn to Manhattan, crossing the Brooklyn Bridge and knowing I might be asking too many uncomfortable questions to our driver who watched the second plane hit the Twin Towers after the first plane woke him up.
6. Being completely sure I was asking too many uncomfortable questions after said driver went silent when I inquired, “Did you see the towers fall?”
7. Telling everyone in Texas, “You have a blessed day” and having them not understand I was joking.
8. Spending 18 minutes on the radio in Memphis with Thaddeus Matthews, aka my new favorite radio host, talking about everything from getting our butts in church, how my white god and my white people have been treating me wrong because I’m not rich, being told how black men need to stay with black women and white men need to stay with white women, getting directions to where I can pick up hookers on Elvis Presley Boulevard and getting off a “Baba Booey” before hanging up.
9. Hearing my brother talk to Thaddeus and get blamed for 400 years of oppression before saying “God Bless Texas.”
10. Hearing my brother call Thaddeus back and getting hung up on for doing the worst black impression of all time.
11. Having Jim Rome’s call screen improperly use the word “trite” when describing my admittedly lame topic.
12. Signing “Lomita Loves You” on the wall outside Graceland.
13. Introducing my brother to Barstow’s Del Taco.
14. Walking to the rear of the gift shop at the Big Texan in Amarillo and discovering they have a live rattlesnake in the store.
15. Eating guacamole and chips at the Frontier in Albuquerque.
16. Spending the night in the van in Shamrock, Texas, and remembering how I spent the best/worst day/night of my life there (ask me about it sometime).
17. Buying a t-shirt at the Flying J in Amarillo that has a drawing of Popeye’s body but no head for six bucks.
18. Taking pictures on an unused lawn mower at a rest stop in Tennessee.
19. Being told by an attendant at Wal-Mart that if his employees steal anything while changing oil in the van that I could come talk to him to get back my stuff.
20. Not knowing how to answer said attendant when he asked, “California? You got lots of Mexicans there?”
21. De-virginizing my brother’s lack of knowledge of what a Waffle House is.
22. Chatting with our server Andrew at an Oklahoma Waffle House and having him ask, “Is skateboarding popular in California?” before he showed us this green blob he called a tattoo.
23. Still not stepping foot into a Cracker Barrel.
24. Climbing through my bedroom window after realizing I left my keys in my apartment.
25. Getting to spend time with my brother (aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww).
1. Walking through a truck stop parking lot in Arizona, miss getting run over by an old man by less than three feet, then having him look at us, make a mean face and flipping us off.
2. Driving from New York to New Jersey, pulling over at the stateline to get gas, asking the man if he had a public bathroom and getting asked, “Do you have to pee?,” answering yes and then being told, “You can just pee in the corner over there.”
3. Having a baby cry in the seat in front of me on the plane just as I was about to fall asleep.
4. Rockin’ “The Blueprint” on the Holland Tunnel.
5. Being driven from Brooklyn to Manhattan, crossing the Brooklyn Bridge and knowing I might be asking too many uncomfortable questions to our driver who watched the second plane hit the Twin Towers after the first plane woke him up.
6. Being completely sure I was asking too many uncomfortable questions after said driver went silent when I inquired, “Did you see the towers fall?”
7. Telling everyone in Texas, “You have a blessed day” and having them not understand I was joking.
8. Spending 18 minutes on the radio in Memphis with Thaddeus Matthews, aka my new favorite radio host, talking about everything from getting our butts in church, how my white god and my white people have been treating me wrong because I’m not rich, being told how black men need to stay with black women and white men need to stay with white women, getting directions to where I can pick up hookers on Elvis Presley Boulevard and getting off a “Baba Booey” before hanging up.
9. Hearing my brother talk to Thaddeus and get blamed for 400 years of oppression before saying “God Bless Texas.”
10. Hearing my brother call Thaddeus back and getting hung up on for doing the worst black impression of all time.
11. Having Jim Rome’s call screen improperly use the word “trite” when describing my admittedly lame topic.
12. Signing “Lomita Loves You” on the wall outside Graceland.
13. Introducing my brother to Barstow’s Del Taco.
14. Walking to the rear of the gift shop at the Big Texan in Amarillo and discovering they have a live rattlesnake in the store.
15. Eating guacamole and chips at the Frontier in Albuquerque.
16. Spending the night in the van in Shamrock, Texas, and remembering how I spent the best/worst day/night of my life there (ask me about it sometime).
17. Buying a t-shirt at the Flying J in Amarillo that has a drawing of Popeye’s body but no head for six bucks.
18. Taking pictures on an unused lawn mower at a rest stop in Tennessee.
19. Being told by an attendant at Wal-Mart that if his employees steal anything while changing oil in the van that I could come talk to him to get back my stuff.
20. Not knowing how to answer said attendant when he asked, “California? You got lots of Mexicans there?”
21. De-virginizing my brother’s lack of knowledge of what a Waffle House is.
22. Chatting with our server Andrew at an Oklahoma Waffle House and having him ask, “Is skateboarding popular in California?” before he showed us this green blob he called a tattoo.
23. Still not stepping foot into a Cracker Barrel.
24. Climbing through my bedroom window after realizing I left my keys in my apartment.
25. Getting to spend time with my brother (aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww).
Saturday, August 28, 2010
DECISIONS DECISIONS PUBLISHED AT HAGGARD AND HALLOO
I visit Haggard & Halloo nearly every day because it's one of the few poetry sites that publishes things I like. I also submit poems to them regularly because of this and sometimes they use my work, which is always cool.
About two or three Saturday nights ago, I had one of those evenings in which the words just fell out of my fingers and onto the page. One of the poems I wrote that night is called "Decisions Decisions." The next morning I re-read it and liked it enough to submit it to Haggard & Halloo.
Fast forward to today.
It's 12:30 p.m. I'm in bed on my laptop watching Japan come back against Chinese Taipei in the Little League World Series (which is sooooooooooooo much better than Major League Baseball, by the way) when I decide to see what's happening at H&H. Much to my surprise, there is a picture of me on the homepage. And below that picture is my poem "Decisions Decisions."
It's always an honor to have a poem published anywhere. It's even more of an honor when it's a surprise.
Click here to read "Decisions Decisions."
About two or three Saturday nights ago, I had one of those evenings in which the words just fell out of my fingers and onto the page. One of the poems I wrote that night is called "Decisions Decisions." The next morning I re-read it and liked it enough to submit it to Haggard & Halloo.
Fast forward to today.
It's 12:30 p.m. I'm in bed on my laptop watching Japan come back against Chinese Taipei in the Little League World Series (which is sooooooooooooo much better than Major League Baseball, by the way) when I decide to see what's happening at H&H. Much to my surprise, there is a picture of me on the homepage. And below that picture is my poem "Decisions Decisions."
It's always an honor to have a poem published anywhere. It's even more of an honor when it's a surprise.
Click here to read "Decisions Decisions."
Thursday, August 19, 2010
DAVID CROSS IN LA WEEKLY
If you read this blog (and my guess is you don't), you'd know all about the Lightbulb Mouth Radio Hour. It's a cool weekly event that goes down every Wednesday at the Basement Lounge in Long Beach. If you haven't read my story, Google it.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, comedian David Cross was part of the show. Wanna know what happened? Click here and my good friends at the LA Weekly and I will tell you all about what you missed.
THE ROOM IN THE LA WEEKLY
I've never seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," and until about three months ago, I never wanted to. Then I saw the monthly screening of "The Room" at the Laemmle Sunset 5 and everyone has who seen Tommy Wiseau's epic film and the cult classic has likened the two based on the movie-going experience, not the films themselves. If "Rocky Horror" is half as good as "The Room," I'm there.
My youngest brother has been telling me about "The Room" for what feels like two years. I don't want to be the old fuddy duddy and say that his opinion didn't matter much, but he likes "Family Guy," if you know what I mean. After what felt like forever, I borrowed his DVD and watched the film. Three minutes in, I texted him to say "The Room" was the best movie I'd ever seen. Keep in mind, I'm not a movie person (kinda don't like them, actually), so for me to get this fired up says something about how awesome "The Room" is. Two days later I went to the screening and my life has literally been changed. If you go, yours will be too.
I'd try to explain the madness that is "The Room," but you just gotta go. If underage drinking, smoking pot inside movie theaters, throwing footballs inside movie theaters and hurling plastic spoons at screens sounds like a good time, you'll love "The Room."
If you need more info, click here. It's a story I wrote for the LA Weekly regarding the film and the screenings.
PS The pic is of me and Wiseau before the screening. He walks around the line to shake hands and take pics. This is us doing his patented fist-bump. Notice the guy in the wheelchair totally not caring that a picture is being taken.
Monday, July 26, 2010
POEM PUBLISHED AT HAGGARD AND HALLOO
Yesterday I had my third poem published on the Austin, Texas -based literary journal Haggard & Halloo. It's a silly little ditty titled "Jealous Justice."
In case you were wondering, I was in a thrift store on Mission in San Francisco, digging through a bunch of crap, disappointed the shop didn't have better stuff for sale. Upstairs I came across the book section and noticed how the stuff on the shelves was all best-sellers, celebrity cookbooks and those paperbacks with Fabio on the cover. It felt good knowing that people might buy this stuff, but they don't hold onto the works in both the literal and physical sense. This poem was my way of acknowledging that while these writers enjoy financial success, they don't make a lasting impression on many of the people who buy these books.
The posting of this poem is the quickest turnaround from writing to publication in my short poetry career. I wrote this poem in a hotel room in San Francisco in June and submitted it to H&H a few days after I returned home from my vacation. A few days later, their editor gave me a publication date and I was very excited to say the least.
In the past, I've found that having my non-journalism work published can take a very long time. Sometimes it takes months for publications to reply and by the time my work comes out, I forgot I sent the work off in the first place. So you can see why this is so exciting for me. One day this poem didn't exist and six weeks later, it's available for the entire world to see.
On another note, H&H is pretty awesome and I say that not because they are planning to re-publish my short story "Brown Eyed Girl" next month, but because of all the literary journals I read online, I actually really enjoy this one. The people running the site have similar taste in writing as I do, which I don't come across very often. It's quite an honor to have a site I like accept my work, so thanks Haggard & Halloo!
Click here to read "Jealous Justice."
In case you were wondering, I was in a thrift store on Mission in San Francisco, digging through a bunch of crap, disappointed the shop didn't have better stuff for sale. Upstairs I came across the book section and noticed how the stuff on the shelves was all best-sellers, celebrity cookbooks and those paperbacks with Fabio on the cover. It felt good knowing that people might buy this stuff, but they don't hold onto the works in both the literal and physical sense. This poem was my way of acknowledging that while these writers enjoy financial success, they don't make a lasting impression on many of the people who buy these books.
The posting of this poem is the quickest turnaround from writing to publication in my short poetry career. I wrote this poem in a hotel room in San Francisco in June and submitted it to H&H a few days after I returned home from my vacation. A few days later, their editor gave me a publication date and I was very excited to say the least.
In the past, I've found that having my non-journalism work published can take a very long time. Sometimes it takes months for publications to reply and by the time my work comes out, I forgot I sent the work off in the first place. So you can see why this is so exciting for me. One day this poem didn't exist and six weeks later, it's available for the entire world to see.
On another note, H&H is pretty awesome and I say that not because they are planning to re-publish my short story "Brown Eyed Girl" next month, but because of all the literary journals I read online, I actually really enjoy this one. The people running the site have similar taste in writing as I do, which I don't come across very often. It's quite an honor to have a site I like accept my work, so thanks Haggard & Halloo!
Click here to read "Jealous Justice."
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
SHORT STORY AND POEM PUBLISHED IN MYRIAD
Every kid from the South Bay -- especially those who don't do well in high school -- knows about El Camino College. It's a JC that is fairly popular in its surrounding area. I was a prime candidate to attend ECC, but like the rebel that I was, I chose to continue (or some say begin) my education at Los Angeles Harbor College.
Not attending El Camino meant missing out on a South Bay tradition, but I can now lay claim to some sort of connection to the University of El Camino as the school's English department -- fine folks that they are -- have recently published a short story and a poem of mine in the 2010 edition of Myriad.
I am the only contributor with more than one piece, so for that I am honored. I can finally say my connection to El Camino runs deeper than my dad attending classes there lots of years ago.
Click here to read my short story "Brown Eyed Girl" or here to read the poem "For Dotty."
Not attending El Camino meant missing out on a South Bay tradition, but I can now lay claim to some sort of connection to the University of El Camino as the school's English department -- fine folks that they are -- have recently published a short story and a poem of mine in the 2010 edition of Myriad.
I am the only contributor with more than one piece, so for that I am honored. I can finally say my connection to El Camino runs deeper than my dad attending classes there lots of years ago.
Click here to read my short story "Brown Eyed Girl" or here to read the poem "For Dotty."
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